I fucking got attached and now I don’t know how to detach myself without pushing you away and I don’t want to push you away I just want to be able to let you care about me without me being in your face all the time with how much I need you to care
Update: depressed feeling worthless
Being depressed as an adult is a lot different than being depressed as a teenager…
psa if you ever meet me in real life I am really sorry for how much I swear like it’s really not a joke I have a mouth on me like a fuckin sailor and I can usually turn it off around adults but if you’re under thirty five I will likely throw one ‘fuck’ in for every three words that leave my mouth it’s shocking
Borderline personality disorder is literally so difficult in the sense the people you love the most think that you’re spiteful, pathetic and childish. What they don’t realise is that these extreme reactions are because you love them very much and you care. You simply cannot control how you react at all and you’re not trying to manipulate you just can’t express to anyone how you feel in a calm way. Because things that seem minor to others are massive to you. The anger you feel is completely out of control and how upset you are means nothing calms you down apart from destructive behaviour. You say and do things you don’t really mean. Then because of these reactions you lose them, and miss them all the time. It is horrible. It feels like you lose people for loving them but I get it doesn’t look like that to the person on the receiving end.
Decorating your first apartment sounds fun until you realize you have to pay for everything …
Being an adult sounds fun until you realize you have to pay for everything …